Forgiveness

What do you do when somebody hurts you? Do you want to hurt him back or do you hold it against that person for the rest of your life? If you answer yes to these questions, know that you are like most people. To forgive is something that people generally have difficulty with.

Why don't people forgive readily? Here's why, because it is easier to hate than to forgive. Some people think to forgive is a sign of weakness, but let me tell you, it is not. To forgive takes courage and extra effort.

What is forgiveness? It is a gift from a generous heart. Forgiveness is not a reward. It is not something that you give to someone based on his good behavior. It is something that you give to a person irrespective of whether he has deserved it or not. Forgiveness is also not based on whether the person has asked for forgiveness.Also know this. Forgiveness is not an event, which starts and concludes when you say the words, "I forgive you". Forgiveness is an act and a process, which often takes time. The deeper your hurt the longer it usually takes to completely forgive. It is an act because it is not just the words you say but it is your actions which will show if you've really forgiven.

A fine example of someone who embodies true forgiveness is former South African president Nelson Mandela. Mandela was imprisoned by the former all-white South African government for 27 years. Upon his release Mandela surprised the whole world when he showed no bitterness towards his jailers. That is truly remarkable.

Why is it necessary to forgive? Forgiveness releases you from the burden of bitterness and hate. It takes enormous energy to hate and to keep that hate in place. Forgiveness brings freedom whereas revenge is neither sweet nor gratifying, its just a hollow feeling.

Hate puts unnecessary stress on your body. It is a well-known fact, proven by numerous studies, that bitterness and hate can actually make you sick. A great number of people in the world don't really belong in a hospital, because the root of their problem is not physical but is mental. The moment they forgive and let go of their hate they will start to get well.

There is another reason why you need to forgive. If you don't forgive you actually prevent blessings from flowing to you. The Bible says that before you pray for anything first forgive those who wronged you, and then your Father in heaven will forgive you your wrongs. So there you can see that blessings are closely connected to your forgiving others.

I have personal experience of this. I used to be very cynical about life and didn't forgive easily. At the time I also struggled in every area of my life. Things just didn't seem to work out for me. It is as if everything that could go wrong, always went wrong. That was until somebody told me to take a look at my attitude. And when I forgave those who wronged me and changed my attitude, everything else changed. It didn't happen overnight. It took a while, but I could see and feel the difference.

Now you may ask how do you know when you've really forgiven someone? Here's the key. If after you've "forgiven" that person you still experience a negative sting whenever you think of him or her, it means you still have work to do. If however you don't have negative feelings towards that person it means you are free.Are things not working out in your life, despite you doing all the "right" things? Is it possible that you have unforgiveness in your heart? It is certainly something to think about!

Gift of Life

One little boy came up to his mother and handed her a piece of paper. After his mom dried her hands on an apron, she read it:-

For cleaning up my room this week Rs.05.00- Baby-sitting for my kid brother Rs.10.00- For going to the store for you Rs.02.00- Taking out the garbage Rs.00.50- For getting a good report card Rs.10.00- For helping in kitchen Rs.00.25 Total owed: Rs.27.75

His mother looked at him standing there, expectantly. She picked up the pen, turned the paper over and wrote:-

Nine months I carried you while you were inside me : No Charge- The times I’ve sat with you, doctored and prayed for you : No Charge- For all the tears that you’ve caused through the years : No Charge- For all the nights that were filled with dread and the worries : No Charge I know were ahead- For the toys, food, cloth, and even wiping your nose, there’s : No Charge- And when you add it all up, the full cost of real love is : No Charge

When the son finished reading what his mother had written there were great big tears in his eyes. He looked straight at his mother and said, "Mom, I sure do love you." And then he took the pen and in great big letters he wrote, "PAID IN FULL".

Love-filled actions should always be unconditional.